


The Perks of Being Inpatient

by softiejace



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Hogwarts' Hospital Wing, M/M, cursing, mentions of injury, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 20:39:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8028154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiejace/pseuds/softiejace
Summary: Sirius Black was brilliant at a lot of things. Such included sneaking out at night and charming opponents into believing his lies with just a smile. There were also things, however, that Sirius Black simply could not do. Among those was being (a) patient – and keeping quiet…Excerpt: Sirius exhaled softly and scooted to the edge of the bed, allowing Remus to slip in next to him. He pulled his blanket up around them and curled up on his side, reaching to entangle his fingers with Remus’.“Love you,” he murmured against his ear.“I can tell,” Remus replied, pushing out his hip where it was pressed against Sirius’ crotch.Sirius inhaled sharply while Remus chuckled.“Fuck you.”“You wish.”They lay quite still for a moment, listening. There was no sound coming from Madam Pomfrey’s office. Perhaps she’d gone to sleep as well …





	The Perks of Being Inpatient

**Author's Note:**

> i rewatched poa and couldn't stop myself oops

It was a beautiful night in late spring, that time of the year when it’s starting to get warm out and you’ve no exams to worry about for at least a month.

Sirius gazed longingly at the window. Madam Pomfrey had drawn the curtains mostly shut in respect to Remus, but from where he lay there was a narrow gap through which he could just so see the dewy hills, newly grown grass swaying softly in a breeze, illuminated by the silvery light of the moon.

The very reason they were here.

He sighed and turned in his creaky, uncomfortable hospital bed, moving carefully so as to not strain his aching muscles. Merely two feet away in the next bed lay Remus, face turned towards him, sleeping soundly. Well, not quite so soundly – there was a crease between his brows that Sirius recognised from many previous nights, and his lips quivered ever so slightly as he dreamt.

The rays of moonlight that stole in through the curtains made the scars stand out on his face, three pale, shimmering lines cutting from cheekbone across chin to the hollow beneath his throat.

Sirius’ stomach clenched and he propped himself up, glancing over his shoulder across the empty hospital wing, then back to the neighbouring bed.

“Moons,” he whispered.

Remus snored quietly, but his frown deepened ever so slightly.

“Psst. Hey, Remus.”

“Hmmppf.”

The sheets that Madam Pomfrey had tucked in around the skinny boy earlier in her usual attempt to mother him had slipped down to his waist, and one end was hanging off the bed.

Sirius reached to tug on it.  
A jerk went through the other boy’s body, and he burrowed his face deeper in the pillow.

“Hmmnngo ‘way.”

Admittedly, it was late, and they’d had a very exhausting day (or rather, night before), but Sirius was feeling fidgety, and there wasn’t much he could think of to change that.

He cleared his throat and leaned closer, pulling hard on the blanket that was wrapped around the sleeping boy.

Remus’ fists clenched around the edges of it as it was pulled out of his grip.

“Moony, c’mon,” said Sirius, raising his voice just as much as he dared. “Wake up.”

“I said shove off, bastard,” snarled Remus, keeping his eyes shut, but sounding quite awake now.

Sirius grinned triumphantly.

“That’s not very threatening when you say it with your face squashed against your pillow, y’know.”

Remus replied by grunting something very rude, but finally blinked and lifted his head to squint at Sirius.

He was looking quite tired and worn out indeed, his auburn hair mussed up by sleep, and Sirius would have almost felt guilty for waking him if it wasn’t for the restless energy pulsing through his body.

He watched as the other boy stretched, winced (which in turn made Sirius flinch in sympathy), and rubbed his eyes.

“What d’you want?”

Sirius considered this. There were rather a number of things he wished for right now, but he settled with the easiest and most obvious answer.

“You.”

Remus stared at him, his cheeks flushing slightly, and rolled his beautiful, though at present rather bloodshot eyes.

“Shouldn’t have asked,” he muttered to himself, preparing to lie back down.

Sirius had to suppress a smile, reminded just how fond he was of this sleepy, much less coherent and composed version of Remus.

But this Remus was also about to fall back asleep and Sirius simply couldn’t allow that.

“Nooo,” he whined, “Moony, please. C’mere.”

Stretching his arms out towards the other boy, he pushed out his lower lip in what he hoped was an adorable, irresistible pout.

Remus gave him another deadpan look (he was way too good at those), but the corners of his mouth were twitching, and Sirius could tell he’d mostly convinced him.

The young wizard glanced around the empty room.

“What about the girl that was here?”

When James had brought them in, there’d been a Ravenclaw with her arm in a sling in one of the other beds. After he and Peter had left, having emerged almost unscathed from their nightly adventure, and Remus had fallen asleep, Sirius had laid awake for hours, bored and restless, and watched the girl be dismissed.

Probably for the better, since she’d been throwing him and Remus quite some curious glances.

“Haven’t you noticed? They released her hours ago. It’s just us two now,” Sirius said, concluding his words with a cheeky wink.

Remus remained rather unimpressed.

“Us three,” he corrected. “You, me, and Madam Pomfrey.”

Well, damn. Did he take Sirius for stupid? It wasn’t like he’d forgotten the nurse was down the hall in her office. He simply preferred to … ignore her proximity.

Widening his eyes comically, he exclaimed, “Merlin’s balls, Remus! If you were into threesomes you should’ve said something earlier. James has been bugging me for ages!”

The other boy groaned.

“Did you really wake me up just to annoy me because you’re bored?”

“Well…”

Remus glared at him. Then he sat up, threw off his blanket and eased his sore body off the bed.

“Move over.”

Sirius exhaled softly and scooted to the edge of the bed, allowing Remus to slip in next to him. He pulled his blanket up around them and curled up on his side, reaching to entangle his fingers with Remus’.

“Love you,” he murmured against his ear.

“I can tell,” Remus replied, pushing out his hip where it was pressed against Sirius’ crotch.

Sirius inhaled sharply while Remus chuckled.

“Fuck you.”

“You wish.”

They lay quite still for a moment, listening. There was no sound coming from Madam Pomfrey’s office. Perhaps she’d gone to sleep as well.

“How’s your shoulder?” Remus whispered after a while, staring up at the dark ceiling.

Sirius unbuttoned his pyjama top to reveal a rather nasty gash across his left collarbone and shoulder. Earlier that evening, Madam Pomfrey had given him a magical ointment to rub in, and the pain was mostly gone now as the wound healed. “Better.”

Remus’ lips were drawn tight, and Sirius pushed himself up to lean in and press a kiss to them.

His boyfriend relaxed slightly, but his voice was still frail and regretful when he muttered against his mouth, “’m sorry.”

Sirius pulled away and put his hand to Remus’ cheek, gently turning his head to look at him.

“Look, it’s fine,” he said earnestly. “You didn’t mean to do it.”

Remus blinked, his breath going quick and uneasy.

“Still…”

Sirius hadn’t meant to evoke another of those conversations – the ones in which Remus blamed himself and Sirius tried helplessly to convince him that whatever he did under the influence of the moon _wasn’t his fault_. He hated seeing Remus torture himself with self-loathing, but arguing never seemed to lead anywhere.

There had to be something he could say to distract him…

“Still,” he repeated, and Remus’ eyes widened. He wasn’t used to Sirius agreeing with him on this subject, and he’d be quick to believe it if Sirius didn’t hurry to continue.

“Still you owe me,” he said, giving his boyfriend a very suggestive look.

A flicker went through Remus’ honey-coloured eyes.  
“Oh, do I now?” he asked quietly.

The strain was leaving his face, Sirius noted, pleased.

“Mmhmm.” He moved to rest his chin on Remus’ chest so he could look up at him, lighting up his features with a dopey grin.

Remus chuckled and bit down on his lip.

“So, umm. How would you like to be repaid then, Mr Black?”

His voice had dropped in pitch, and underneath the blanket, one of his hands ran down Sirius’ torso right to the small of his back.

Sirius held his breath.

“By hand?” Remus continued, further lowering both his voice and his hand until it cupped the other’s arse.

Sirius closed his eyes.

Then he felt Remus’ breath against the shell of his ear.

“Or perhaps… by mouth?”

With a gasp, Sirius’ eyes shot open again, Remus’ quiet laughter muffled by his skin.

“I’d rather … prefer the second … method of payment,” he managed to choke out, and Remus smirked at him before gently pushing him onto his back.

“You’ll have to be quiet, though. I’d rather not have Madam Pomfrey catch me with your cock in my mouth,” he said, looking intently down at Sirius. “D’you reckon you can do that? Keep quiet while I blow you?”

Sirius swallowed. He wasn’t sure he could guarantee anything with Remus’ head between his thighs, but he was achingly hard and the idea of stopping now that he’d gotten Remus so far was unbearable.

He nodded quickly.

Remus flashed him a smile, eyes dark and vicious, and ducked under the blanket.

On the opposite wall, the Ravenclaw girl had left her window open, and the curtains were blowing in the breeze. Sirius watched as they flapped and flattered while Remus pulled down the soft cottons of his pyjamas.

Cold air met his skin, the sheets rustled.

He held his breath.

Then he felt Remus wrap one slender, warm hand around him, stroking once from base to tip.

Electricity seemed to flicker through every one of his veins.

Sirius breathed in through his nose, staring at the curtains until his eyes watered.

The wind had stilled, as though nature itself was anticipating the next moment.

He ran his hands down under the blanket, and upon finding Remus’ head, wound them into his hair, pulling slightly to edge him on. He thought he could hear him chuckle in response, but quickly stopped thinking entirely as Remus’ lips engulfed him.

All he could feel was wet, tight heat, and the firm grip Remus kept on the base of his cock.

His breath faltered, and he bit down hard on his bottom lip to gulp down the whine about to escape him.

Then a gust of air made the curtain rings rattle, and Remus sank down on him.

“M- _Moony_!”

The way Remus lapped and licked at the head of Sirius’ cock whenever he came up, like a dog, then sucked hard before he sank back down, taking him a bit deeper every time… it was making Sirius’ head swirl.

Also the fact that he couldn’t make noises was sure to drive him crazy. In search of something to distract him, he knotted his fingers in Remus’ curls, tugging and scratching, knowing that it didn’t hurt the other boy, it would only spur him on.

And it did. Sirius felt Remus’ hands wander up his torso and underneath his pyjama top, fingers finding his nipples and twisting them.

Taken by surprise, he arched his back and gasped out a whimper.

“Remus, I’m –“

He’d been about to say “I’m close,” but a scuffing sound made him stop midsentence.

Footsteps on stone floor.

He yanked on Remus’ hair in warning, but the other boy had already pulled off, peeking up at him from underneath the blanket.

His lips were glistening with pre-cum, his cheeks reddened, but his eyes were widened with fear.

“Did you forget to cast a muffliato?” he whispered.

Sirius felt his own cheeks turn red.

There was no time for regrets. The footsteps stopped, and the sound of the creaking door rang through the empty ward.

Remus stared up at him in panic.

“Pads –“

“Stay down,” Sirius hissed. “Take cover; I’ll handle it.”

He pulled the blanket up to his mid-torso, not too far so he wouldn’t expose Remus’ feet. Then he grabbed his pillow and stuffed it underneath the blanket, propping his knees up to both sides of his crouching boyfriend.

A light appeared at the far entrance to the hospital ward, and Sirius felt his heart pick up pace and Madam Pomfrey came shuffling into view.

As the glow of her torch reached them, Sirius made a show out of blinking up at her, lifting his uninjured arm to shield his face.

“Madam?” he asked nervously.

She was wearing a polka dot nightgown and a frown.

“Are you here to check on my state?” He made sure to add a hearty yawn to the end of the sentence, disguising the fact that he hadn’t been sleeping.

The nurse had no idea that Sirius and Remus were more than friends, or that he and the other two of Remus’ closest friends regularly transformed into animals on the full moon, but she’d seen enough of the boys to be wary around them. _Put two of those four in one room and you’ll have trouble_ , she’d heard teachers complain, and though her protégé Remus, whom she was extraordinarily fond of, obviously seemed to value Sirius a lot, she didn’t quite trust him.

And right now she was fairly sure something was off.

“I thought I’d heard something.”

As she raised her lamp, Sirius sat up further.

“Heard what? I’m afraid I snore quite a bit,” he lied. “James has mentioned it.”

She looked suspicious. “No, that’s not what it sounded like at all. It was rather like someone moaning in pain.”

Sirius felt his face grow hot. “Oh. Um. That might have been Remus?”

The light of Madam Pomfrey’s torch wandered over to Remus’ abandoned bed, and Sirius remembered, too late, that he’d have to cover up for him missing.

“Now, now. Where’s Mr Lupin, then?”

The nurse turned to face Sirius, looking down at him strictly.

“You said he was in pain?”

Remus quivered between his legs, face pressed into his stomach. Sirius became quite aware of the fact that he was more or less naked underneath the sheets. He swallowed.

“I mean, I suppose so. Must’ve been, if you heard moaning.” It took all his power to keep a straight face. “I don’t know for sure, though, as, you know, I’ve been sleeping. He’ll probably have gone to the loo.”

Madam Pomfrey didn’t look convinced. “I think I would’ve heard if he’d passed by my office.”

Sirius smiled, hoping it didn’t look too forced. Then again, it was rather dark, so maybe Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t notice.

“Ah, you know Remus. He’s such a decent young man. He’ll go out of his way to be quiet in order not to disturb your peace, Madam.”

The decent young man snickered, his breath tickling Sirius’ tummy, who just barely managed to repress the reflex of clamping his legs together.

But it worked. Madam Pomfrey’s face softened as she thought about her favourite sixth year student.

“You’re right there, of course. Still,” she continued, and both boys tensed up.

“I also heard talking.”

Sirius swallowed.

“Maybe he was talking to himself?”

“Don’t be silly, boy.”

“Oh, I’m being absolutely serious, Madam,” Sirius said innocently.

The nurse tutted.

Remus bit into his navel.

Sirius yelped in pain.

This, at last, seemed to take Madam Pomfrey’s attention off the noise she was investigating.

“Dear boy, what’s the matter? Are you in pain, now? Do you need some more of that ointment?”

She was coming towards him, the glow of her lamp dangerously close to where Remus was perched under the sheets.

Sirius felt panic rising in his stomach.

“I’m – no, honestly, Ma’am, I’m fine, it was just a cramp. A simple, harmless muscle cramp,” he babbled on. “It’s already passed. I’ll be just fine, thank you very much. Why don’t you go on back to bed and I’ll notify you if Remus doesn’t return within five minutes?”

He could feel Remus muttering a plea to Merlin into his stomach.

Finally, Madam Pomfrey nodded.

“Very well. And you’ll tell Mr Lupin that if he’s in need of any more medicine, he’ll only have to call, won’t you?”

“I’ll make sure of it, ma'am. Neither of us want Remus in any kind of pain,” he said, meanwhile reaching down with one hand to pinch Remus’ ear.

Remus flinched.

Madam Pomfrey’s eyes wandered down to the obvious lump around Sirius’ middle.

“What are you keeping under the blanket, boy?”

The boy underneath it grew perfectly still, and Sirius took a slow, steadying breath, thanking himself for the genius idea he’d had earlier.

“Just – just my pillow, ma'am.” He said now, pulling out the edge of it from beneath the blanket.

The nurse stared at him.

Sirius gulped. “I, umm. I like to hug a pillow when I’m not in my dorm, you see.”

She was still eyeing him weirdly.

Oh, fuck it, I’ve lost all dignity now, anyways, Sirius thought, and continued, “Normally, I’d have my teddy bear, but I didn’t have time to fetch it before we came here, and now, you know…”

He trailed off, scared to look back up at Madam Pomfrey’s face, but when he did, her expression was kind.

“Well, well. It’s nice to see such a tough acting boy show weakness.”

Sirius blushed bright red. He wasn’t sure what he found more embarrassing – the fact that the school nurse now considered him someone who slept with a teddy bear, or that she’d previously considered him tough.

James would laugh himself sick if he knew.

Oh, God, James could never know.

“Have a good night, Mr Black,” Madam Pomfrey said, finally getting ready to leave.

“You too, Madam, you too,” said Sirius, flashing her a smile that was, perhaps, a little too relieved.

But at last, the nurse walked away.

Neither of the boys dared breathe until the door had fallen shut behind her.

Then, however, Sirius threw his head back onto the mattress, chest heaving and sinking with relief as Remus crawled up from under the blanket, red-faced with heat and gasping for breath.

“That was brilliant, Pads,” he rasped.

Sirius shook his head. He was sweaty all over from adrenaline, and his heart was beating as though it was trying to break free from his ribcage.

“Let’s never do that again, please,” he whispered.

Remus settled down in the sheets next to him, raising a brow. “It was your fault she heard us in the first place. I told you you’d have to be quiet.”

“Yeah, well, I’d like to see you try not to moan when I’m deep-throating you.”

Remus’ teeth glimmered in the moonlight as he grinned.

“Bet you ten galleons I could do it.”  
“Pfft, you’re just saying that so I’ll suck you off.”

The other boy shrugged unashamed.  
Sirius pulled out the pillow from beneath the blanket and they rested their heads on it, facing each other.

“Even if this hadn’t killed my hard-on, I wouldn’t touch you in this room again. That’s ruined forever. I’m way too paranoid now.”

Remus chuckled and leaned in to connect their lips in a brief kiss.

“And here I was thinking you lived for trouble, tough boy.”

“Shove off.”

But he wrapped one arm around Remus’ waist to pull him closer instead.

“Let’s just go to sleep.”

“That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all night,” Remus mused as Sirius nestled up to him.

“Shouldn’t I go back to my bed, though?”

Sirius held him tighter in response.

“Don’t you dare leave,” he grumbled into the crevice between Remus’ neck and shoulder.

Remus smiled and closed his eyes.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Pads.” He said softly.

“If she finds us like this in the morning, d’you reckon she’ll believe you mistook me for your teddy?”

He was half expecting a nudge in the ribs for that, but no.

When he glanced down, he found Sirius fast asleep.


End file.
